I've got this problem: how can I be honest about what's going on in my life within this very public "blogging" forum? Why do I feel like I'm not being honest? I hardly post here anymore -- maybe out of laziness, but also because I always feel as though I'm holding something back. And of course, I'm holding a lot back because if I said half the stuff I'm thinking then I might get into some trouble. So I guess it comes down to fear. Doesn't it always? You may find out something about me that I don't want you to know, and yet I want to tell you. But how can the world be your confidant?

People do it all the time on their blogs and it just seems like a very odd phenomenon. You could easily say that it's the same as whining out loud to the world, telling everyone your problems. But isn't it more than that? I don't know why I'm bringing this up, why I worry about such things.

I think she inspired me today to express some of these doubts out loud again.

I went to the airport yesterday to catch a plane to Germany to visit my girlfriend. She is studying abroad over there for four months. For reasons too complicated to get into here, my travel plans completely fell through and I was not able to get on the plane. I was all set to go and suddenly I couldn't go. And now I have very little to do in the way of work, to get my mind off of the fact that I can't be with the one I love. So I've spent the day reading Crossing Over, watching Live Flesh and My Name is Bill W. (the former was magical, the latter was not well done but interesting), and drinking coffee.

Good things are happening with the film that I've been editing, In Search of a Midnight Kiss. It's a film by my good friend Alex Holdridge, who previously made the films Wrong Numbers and Sexless. Midnight Kiss turns out to be a strong little film, one that certain high level gatekeepers are interested in helping out. I think we'll try to have an Austin screening soon. Hopefully we'll do the sound mix in Austin -- would be great to be back home for awhile. Though LA is exciting and there is so much to do here, it has been a somewhat isolating experience. Thing is it takes a lot of work to interact with people here. People are so focused on work that they don't have that much time for socializing. That is of course unless you're an actor. Then socializing is all you do.

Because of the film (and because he has enourmous talent) Brian signed with a new manager that is hellbent on getting him out there into the world. Brian has always had managers who never really bought into his talent or realized his strengths. Finally he has a champion. I think his life is definately about to change for the better.

That is all.